How much do you like yourself on a scale of 1 – 10? Think about that for a moment. Should we not all be answering ten? Not many people do, actually. But we are not born this way, this happens over time. How we interpret the world, where we fit in it, what happens to us and what we are told we are. Other people give us labels, which we then own as our own.

The influences around us, comparisons, our upbringing, all help us to create our story, our decisions about what sort of person we are and where we fit into society. By the age of 5-7 we have decided our story and then we live up to it. 

In a lot of cases, we can feel that we’re never being quite enough. Likeable enough, loveable enough, brave enough, confident enough, brainy enough, the list goes on. At the root of it, is fear. Fear is the key component of self-esteem. ‘I would love to go and do that thing, but I fear I won’t be any good at it and then people will see me for what I am, so I won’t.’ 

Standing right next to the fear, is judgement. Being judged in the eyes of someone else is never a comfortable feeling, so of course, we avoid it as much as we can, why would we voluntarily put ourselves at risk?

The good news is, it is a story, of which you are the main character. If you don’t like one or the other or either, you have the power to rewrite it. You don’t have to be the person you feel you need to be to be a conforming citizen, or the one that you believe, this is just who/how I am. You no longer need to carry the labels you have given yourself or others have given you. 

But how? Cognitive hypnotherapy can help you trace back to the origin of the belief about yourself, reframe it, shine some light on it and see it for what it is, let that old belief about yourself go. So, as you look out to the future, you see yourself behaving in situations the way that you really want to, living life the way the feels more congruent, authentic, the real you. Now that sounds pretty good to me.

Dr Brian Roet said, “Everything is about something else.” And it is so true. We weren’t born with low confidence or self-esteem, there will be a root to it somewhere, its just a case of finding it and putting it right.

Journal prompt: 

What influences in your life have led you to where you are now?

What would you change about your story?